Change or development and evolution ─ living yourself defenselessly 

To live our life in connection with life and by that in connection with ourselves, we are invited to welcome our unique earthly energy we embody, that energy we are, not that energy we would like to be, our ego or needy us likes to be.

Living your fears versus wanting to let them go

To practically live defenselessly who we are, we are invited to live all emotions in us, inclusively the ones we fear the most. This does not mean projecting them  and to show the defensive top layer but to go inside and to make space for what you really fear.

path 2Living your deepest fears is a different level of facing them than being aware of them and trying to overcome those fears. Trying to overcome those fears is in my experience more like trying to learn swimming in an online training.

To evolve further, to experience that peace, to experience oneness (one with life, god, all that is…) has nothing to do with excluding certain unpopular emotions, traits or events that appear in the now from the complete range of what can be experience.

Any NO to what we feel, see, experience ─ shortly said: sense, pushes us further away from living a full life, enjoying life.  It sounds hypocrite to include all which we dislike to feel and seemingly does not make us happy in order to enjoy life but if you really give it a try it’s amazing.  You cannot even experience life as it is, forget about enjoy life when you cut yourself into pieces of likes and dislikes, yes and no’s in yourself.

Any NO we feel to what is NOW evokes the desire for change and denies us to develop what is there and to evolve further. Which of course automatically means that that which is left undesired and rejected stays undeveloped and often it even has to put all its strength together to fight the change sometimes even in extreme ways.  This happens in a torn individual equally as in a torn society.  If you have looked at the recent (political) extremes in our society you might understand what I mean.  Both extremes ( the old and the new change) share the same fears and their behavior will result in what they fear.

As we reject ourselves, we reject life

Today I allowing myself to be unconditonally meWe are not supposed to change (reject what is and wanting something else), we are designed to develop and to evolve. There is nothing in you that should not be there, inclusive your past. (past lives, ancestors’ histories etc. )

We are invited to become whole and to fall in love with the energy we individually carry on this earth. That love, curiosity, compassion, encouragement we give ourselves makes that we can evolve what is in us further.

It’s amazing that we judge the way the system, parents etc.  has molded us, forced us to be some chain in the machinery called life, to fit in and to live up to given standards…..yet if it comes to ourselves and to our life, we are the first ones to wanting to change us instead of observing and nurturing and by that developing lovingly and patiently our very own nature; even often stating that it is not our real self we experiencing.

Let me give you an example to even better explain the essential difference between changing and developing.

E.g.: Changing the Bully or develop the bully as a great potential

A child likes to bully.  Here we all want to say this is unconducive und antisocial behavior for that we try as parents our level best to change that behavior.  He has to stop that. We know that bullying is a defense behavior and it can cover up a wide range of fears.

Let us ask ourselves what is bullying in its essence? What is it that actually cries out to be seen, loved, and valued?  Its to let people feel weak, small and powerless.   Who dares to do that??? And why in heaven’s name?  Especially in society where we want to believe that we are all great people, with endless potential and where the sky is the limit, or not even the sky is the limit, there are no limits! Where our own set targets become higher and higher and if we don’t make it:  to bad, it’s you!  You don’t love yourself enough or whatever guilt certificate fits you.

Now coming back to developing and evolving. Imagine it being lived without fear.  (Evolution to move from fear based to love motivated) Making people feel weak, small and powerless.  What is the evolved quality that lies in it?   I actually never choose an example in advance and with this one in the first place I thought…oh oh, how will this one work out. But I am always so amazed that EVERY trait we embody is in its essence brilliant and conducive.

Here we come now to what developing/evolving an outer phenomena and in this case a behavior is. As a child the bully creates situations where he confronts other children to feel weak, small and powerless.  He enjoys that other feel small and weak and powerless. (he also needs it as his defense)  Let’s now have look what would be if the bully does it defenselessly, fearlessly ─ He creates or even becomes the space where people can be small, weak and powerless.  A space most of us don’t like at all. We rather want to pretend that we are all great and by that suppress our ability (yes ability) to be weak, powerless and small.   And even if this is now not the topic of this blog, still nice to see how enriching it could be in our desire to be less controlling (no power to influence), more receiving (weak and needy) and trusting (I am small and need protection). Allowing and valuing those traits enables us to surrender more to life, to let intuition guide us.  I don’t have the power, I am not in control, I am just a tool of life (small) I accept all the help of life (weak, can’t do it myself).

I don’t know about you, but I love it.  I want to meet that developed bully still doing his thing to confront me with my fears of being weak, small and powerless and allows be and even likes and loves me when I am like that for me to face it and to live it fearlessly.   I go for that one.

Dare to live and by that develop your very own nature

But instead of seeing this rich potential that contains the trait of bullying, we make the child believe it is wrong, change your behavior, STOP doing so.  When we succeed by making him believe it’s better to help, to be kind, not to make others feel bad, he only will hate his own smallness, weakness and powerlessness more and will drift further and further from his nature.  Just as we often have been drifting far from our own nature in always wanting to be something we are not and by that not seeing the beauty that just waits in us to be developed.

Strange actually that we encourage a child to continue drawing, even if we could not by far recognize anything in the first picture, but if it’s about behavior we have been so exclusive to “good” behavior that we never get and give a chance to ourselves and others to live themselves and to develop their nature freely further.

My last Vipassana retreat opened thankfully again doors to see and live, yes live deeper fears I was not aware off, for me to develop them further.  I decide to live my nature fully, no exclusion of who I am, the worldly energy I carry and embody here.  And by not judging myself anymore for how I feel, and what I do I start finding it actually exciting. Even if it looks strangely to the outside because others fear my fear, because it’s not right to be okay to be not that ideal picture and perhaps  to confront them with what they fear deep inside of them.

Your social, emotional and spiritual development and evolution just starts with adulthood and ends with your last breath. Nobody would blame a baby for not yet being able to walk ─ it will, and so will we if we dare to love all potential present in us.

I invite you to stop running after something you think you want to be and instead to fully embrace your very own earthly nature regardless of what form it takes today.

Much love Karin

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