That I lived for the longest time in limbo and dissatisfaction was because I intermingled those two words — happiness and joy — those two words have actually nothing, and I mean really nothing to do with each other.
Let me share one of my biggest illusion. I thought always that joy is just a deeper version of happiness. Just something that not just makes me smile but is also connected with love. I was kind of done with just being happy, I liked it but I could not put my energy together anymore to really go for it like a nice talk, nice food, a great party or this beautiful beach I love so much. All this was wonderful but I had no longing for it anymore. The closest to joy I came when I could deeply connect with people, could feel love. But after some time I knewalso this was just a surrogate.
I was mistakenly looking for ‘good’ feelings when I looked for joy — joy, this deeper feeling of happiness as I thought it would be.
Joy has nothing to do with happy feelings. You can feel joyous while you feel fear, desperate, anxious, grieve, guilt, frustration — actually the whole range of emotions.
Joy has nothing to do with what you love outside of you or with your emotions. Joy comes when you love what you meet inside of you. Now I am not talking of the God connection and those great spiritual journeys we can make or even feel when we work or do other things.
I talk about YOUR Truth. Joy is felt when you choose to live your truth. And choosing your truth is more often challenging than easy. That thing you know is the right thing to do for you not because its moral, or just, but you feel its right for you. That talk with your spouse or boss, to finally learn swimming or to play the guitar, shift houses, quit your job, take those singing classes, sit in the garden on Monday morning, talk to this guy you like next door…
Joy is to finally decide upon something that you know (perhaps for a long time) is what you actually want. Joy can then be felt if we allow ourselves to feel all our emotions, with no judgement, even judgement. To choose to make space for your frustrations, disappointments, sadness, fear or anger about something instead of playing the cool one (spiritual one). To dare to feel and live fully all that is in you.
Joy is to be unconditionally you. Honest, bare, naked being you. Defenseless, vulnerable and pure.
Now you might know why joy is so hard to find. Shame, fear and guilt holds us down and we over and over again jump into longing for happiness finally to come or we just grab those happy things (holiday, party, workshops, retreats etc.) and also the surrogate to want to find this right thing, our passion, mission, calling that finally will fulfill us is very popular these days.
So enjoy who you are freely, be In Joy with yourself, your compete self —all of it……and watch out not to make this another project and condition to be reached 🙂 It’s an invitation, just an invitation to allow joy into your life.
Much love Karin
PS: : Perhaps you are interested how you personally at this moment block your Joy , send me an e-mail and I am happy to do a NEWEX e-mail session for you. This month I offer those ones for free. (normal charge is 15 euro). This is not an automated mail, but I really connect with you and your invitation. So feel much welcome and benefit.