When do we grant someone to be mentally disturbed….yes I say grant, because it comes with many advantages compared with the normal mental disorders that we simply call rude, selfish, stupid or ignorant. The labeled mentally disturbed person is not held responsible anymore for what he does because we have somehow agreed not to expect any different behaviour from that person.
But honestly said, do we really have a choice in our behaviour and perception in the moment as it happens? Could we really expect a different behaviour from ourselves or others?
My experience is that we always, yes always act in the (for us) most conducive way. Regardless that the outcome of our action might give us finally the opposite of what we consciously desire, it always satisfies the most important, at this moment relevant aspects of our lives.
We and here I mean the ones we officially call mentally ill and the officially called normal people always act confirm their subjective internal interpretation of a situation.
But most of the time both, the nuts and the normal, are not aware of their compulsive nonfunctional (different outcome than intended) behaviours only one is judged for it and the other we mostly encounter with compassion or try to avoid them.
What would be if we could grant each other that we are mentally disturbed? That we could feel compassion for our spouse when she/he acts like an idiot or selfish, our neighbour, boss, children, parents….
If we could stop trying to convince others of their wrong doing and have interest in their world (perception) instead. We might be right that the strategy the other uses backfires, but if one is not receptive to hear you (which is mostly the case in conflicts), why arguing? He is (or you or both are) mentally disturbed because we live our truth, just like a person who is diagnosed with Alzheimer, Schizophrenia etc.
And the question is can we ever not live confirm our truth?
A fact is, if at all we ever want to influence others toward more conducive behaviour and want to open them up to a different truth it never happens by force.
Truth can’t be forced, it only can be felt.
And if it can’t be felt, it simply can’t be felt and for that it can’t be adapted and lived. That is for us to be accepted, if we like it or not. Just like your spouse, child, neighbour is diagnosed with a mental illness you need to adapt and make your own choices.
Fighting it would be insane………………..oh yes of course I forgot we still live in that world where we do that…………. just forgot again that we are all insane.
So if this what you just read sounds true to you, then let us start with being compassionate and interested in our own truth, not taking our own truth for so true and acknowledge that we are simply nuts at times. That could be a good start.
Much love your insane Karin
ps.: The book “The Gifts of Your Life” brings awareness to many of our insane truths we defend so dearly in order to make our lives difficult 🙂 Interested?