These weeks are our family birthdays. My son celebrates today 24th of May and my birthday is on 4th of June. My daughter’s is a few weeks later on 11th of July. This year it’s a bit strange
that out of whatever reason, I am likely becoming aware off now, most of my family members can’t come to our birthday party and in my daughter’s case, she will not even be around on her birthday since she travels to visit a good friend in Madrid, and somehow there was no other possibility to travel. All have good reasons not to come, or just popping in shortly since they had other unavoidable things. So life has my attention and I love to know to what this invites me.
This time it wants me to look first at an illusion I seem to live in. I find this illusion in the eleventh bridge the second gift, the gift of living life fully. The illusion is: “People like what I do now, I contribute and don’t dare to let go of the known to do something else. “
I wonder how I need to understand this and ask some questions about it. People stands for family. What do they like what I do now? I am not yet aware. Is it that I fit in, that I celebrate as they are used to celebrate (always the same since ever and all do the same)? I get a yes. So it is my illusion that I have to do it as they do it in order to fit in. I sense and I feel it’s right. I also see that it is wider than the birthday format. Since I came back to Germany I had many such invitations and I thought I had unpacked all those gifts. Most of them were to get friends with their life style, letting go of my resistances and to see the richness in it. I get very curious to what experience of me, unpacking this one will lead.
I test my invitation. It’s in the ninth bridge, the second gift, the gift of seeing connections. My invitation is: “there is nothing you must see, understand or know…….not about yourself nor others. “ . This one I need to clarify more since it does not yet make sense to me. Is it that things have to make sense? When we use the word ‘have to’ or ‘must’, we can almost always assume that there is a fear of not being loved behind it and that we can’t feel an option, we life in the illusion that there is no choice. I am getting a yes when I ask if this is here the case.
When I put the former illusion together with this ‘have to’ I see where it leads me. I put unnecessarily two things together that have nothing to do with each other: doing things the common way will make that I fit in. But fitting in is not conditionally at all. We don’t need any proof that we fit in. (people come to our birthdays for example) there is nothing to see, to understand or to know about myself or others if we are a fit.
I get it now fully. In fitting in there is no cause and effect, no logic, no understanding. In the intention of service, each encounter is a spiritual one. It has no condition.
We are always at the right time, in the right place, doing the right thing.
In our old human nature of survival we take the result of an action, het response we get, as a measure if we have had a meaningful encounter. But in the New World, we serve unconditionally, we don’t want to be liked, loved or fit in because of an action. We are living our life and ourselves freely and unconditionally, we trust our own nature our own energy we carry fully.
We are invited to freely live that energy and to express and live our truth of a given time, inclusive our illusions. Our truth is dynamic as our energy we carry on earth is. I somehow got caught up in routine and stopped thinking of what would be really nice for Joshua birthday and what I would like to do on mine. And when I don’t celebrate my birthday it’s not strange people are not coming. Since the context of the birthday is just an example and not the issue, I look for myself to other areas of my life where routine has taken over and where I stopped sensing if this is still my truth that I live……………and guess, I find quite some.
I am invited to make a big clean up in my routines. And the nicest part of it is, that I am now also very conscious that it does not matter if others respond with a smile or are perhaps challenged to stretch a bit with my way of doing things. Both is perfect since in the intention of service, I am always at the right time, in the right place, doing the right thing ─ I am invited to truly choose and live myself freely.
What a nice birthday gift I got.
6 thoughts on “A very special birthday gift”
The fact that you see life as you do giving you the ability to understand that every life situation is a Gift, changes the entire ‘playing field’ taking it to another level of perception for every little thing that happens and the big picture.
very inspiring, karin 🙂 i’m also concerned with thoughts about fitting in, routines, my own way of doing things and (no) reactions to it, invitations,… thanks for your article and greetings from hamburg!
Mooie inzichten, Karin! Verjaardag vieren kan op heel veel manieren. Doe het vooral op jouw manier en lekker genieten!
again interesting approach
It is a nice article to read. If one your to lead don’t they have to fit in first, make rapport?
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Yes you are right in rapport as we know it in NLP we say you first have to follow and then you can lead. Follow here means that you are non judgmental in your being towards the other. The other has the right to his truth with no exception. You have interest in the world of the other, you like to understand the motivation of the other. All this creates rapport. The other feels that he is allowed to be himself fully and for that he opens more likely up to a non defensive communication and cooperation. We give them the same gift, we give ourselves when we live our own truth.
Thanks for your thoughts.