Making the step to be fully determined AND to stay playful

Here I am again.  I did my intervention and by the way, lots of other things happened that would have been actually also very interesting to share.  I still need to get used to share my invitations on this blog as soon as I experience them.  It’s part of my topic of today, because I see it took quite some time till I decided to write again a process I undergo on my blog. So I take this as my life situation: I delay to write my experiences on my blog while I actually are eager to share with you how ‘ the gifts of my life’  work in my life.

I test the invitation here. And it starts with a resistance to an invitation. So that means it not yet my direction. It is again in the 8th bridge second gift.  It says:  “For some it’s a starting point to see that there is more to life than you can see.  I am ready to expose myself and know it’s there. You can choose to open up for that and it can become reality for you. Also in your personal gift box are gifts. Know they are there and open up to receive the healing that lies in it. “

I had to use two invitations of that gift. This happens sometimes.  I read it and I feel that this is not really speaking to me, but this is what I would like others to see, this is why I want to write this blog and share my process with others.  So here I seem to have a resistance.  I test my illusion I live in, why I feel resistance to share this with others.  Let’s see what that is. My illusion is to be found in the first bridge, third gift, and illusion number 9.  “I  must have material things in order to cover my illusion of not having enough”   How do I need to understand this in relation with my invitation?  Material things stands here for proof, evidence and then not having enough of what?  It’s not directly clear to me of what I don’t have enough.  So I ask for another guidance. I find this in the second bridge, third gift.  And it tells me that I feel a lack of the basic need of respect.

So my illusion is:  “I must have proof and evidence to cover my illusion of not having enough respect. “

The illusion is that I don’t have enough respect.  Here it’s a basic need. That means I could not feel respected when I was young and for now I still live in the illusion that I need that respect in order to be taken seriously so I need a serious approach and serious evidence and proofs in order for others to take me seriously and even more important for me to take me important enough to share myself with others.

Now I understand it’s clear to me. This is not needed and also not my intention of writing. I don’t want the respect of the reader or that he takes me seriously. I just want the ones that find this interesting to read it, and perhaps it inspires and if not also fine. Perhaps it entertains, also well. And perhaps it is not telling you anything ─ also that is fine.  I write it, because I want to share my way of looking at my life with the ones that are interested. I just want to come out and let life do with it, what it wants.  That is the truth I live in, that is my reality I choose to believe.

I shortly get to know how much pain energy resides still in my body connected to experiences of this illusion.  Its 32% at this moment. Generally one can say when the pain energy is more than 50 % it will be very hard to make more conducive choices and to stay conscious, so I would need an intervention that can release some of that energy but with 32 % I can stay conscious and can support that part in me consciously.  In this case it’s by taking the action of writing my processes and taking myself more seriously or better said making it more important.  Because it’s all an invitation. Nothing is a must. I can choose to live more in my natural energy, doing what is possible for me now to do, or I continue living in my past comfort. I like the new edition of Karin, so I decide to support that part, till it becomes normal for it not to look for evidence till it has the right to be heard ─ and I am sure this will be much more fun also!

I promise myself to share my next session directly in my blog!

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