Being needy is something that is generally speaking not that popular in our society, being independent is what is expected. Yet if we look at neediness just as an ability, it’s to acknowledging our needs, and being open to get them fulfilled.
With a good dose of disappointment you might not even really want to know anymore what you need and by that it can’t transform into wish and desire, and those two again can’t transform into your passion. To live a fulfilled life we are invited to open up again to our neediness and to receiving generally.
At this very moment you might think that this is not your topic, and you might be right, yet it’s for many, inclusive I, a relevant topic which has still room for growth,. To give some examples that might be recognizable for you:
- I have no problems asking for (unknowingly demand) help, but people somehow are very egoistic and even the ones who promised to help are turning sooner or later their back on me. They are not like me ─ I help wherever I can.
- I (unknowingly) can’t ask for help, or show that things are difficult for me without having an external or internal (illness) justifying drama.
- I am (unknowingly) not even aware that something is difficult, that I need support I downplay everything and need very little (nothing).
- I hide (unknowingly) behind the curtain of the universe that if it is supposed to happen it will happen so I don’t need to ask people for help. A very relevant example for me at this time.
How can the resistance to neediness develop? Many ways possible some examples could be that someone in your family of origin was wailing, perhaps it has been your mom, your dad or your sibling. You might have had the experience that those ones took all the attention – perhaps you were quite strong, and you were praised for being so strong and independent, or you were simply just ignored. Also possible that you were over cared for by people that dumped their own pain on you by ensuring (controlling) your happiness.
Whatever it was, it has more or less the same effect: you became self-sufficient and you prefer to (have to) do most (all) by yourself.
However: you can’t ask for help, you feel emotionally alone in this. You close yourself for support or if you hit your limits you demand it and you use pattern as mentioned up or you have even more brilliant talents to cover up your suppressed fears of neediness.
I invite you to have a closer look into your relationship with neediness, if there is still room for development. It’s such an essential part in order to connect, to experience oneness and to surrender to life. In my book ‘The Gifts of Your Life’ it’s described how neediness is a crucial part in our social, emotional and spiritual development.
As I have seen while working with people and of course in my own process is, that healing and opening up to any suppressed part like in this case our needy part matures in four steps.
In my next blog I love to share those four steps with you. Would be great if you post your experience with neediness and receiving. We always learn from each other.