Much of pain is caused in many lives because of the feeling of being of no use, or our doubt that we are a meaningful contribution, that we are doing enough or doing it good enough.
The pain is not just caused by the named above, because most people suppress more or less successfully those feelings by proving themselves that they are of much use. They are great contributors, much needed and often seemingly irreplaceable at the workplace, with friends or family, hobby or ─ you fill it in. And we also have the martyr type who clears the mess others make: “If I don’t do it, who will?” Finally we exhaust ourselves or neglect other important areas in our lives like our health, friends, family, carrier etc. Yet our (hidden) fear to be of no use is so strong that we sacrifice our real joy in order to get that little or big glimpse of being somehow important.
How would it be if we would be totally at peace with being useless, I mean really useless, unable to produce anything? And if you are a bit normal, you will feel some resistance to this. Why wanting to live a useless life? Our desire to be useful is nurtured by as well the old-fashioned contributors to our society by fitting in, as well as the revolutionary seekers for true meaning in life, to live purposefully. The first group spends most of their life to fulfil it and the other group spends most of their life to find it.
What is uselessness if it would be fearless? If we had total peace with it? What is it then? What would then be possible for us?
I start thinking of things that actually have no real use, I mean it would not really be a drama if they would not be there. I think of a nice painting, a good song, the colourful sculpture on my bookshelf. I see that useless things don’t serve any need of survival, they are just there to be enjoyed.
I become still and think how incredibly nice it would be if I just could enjoy myself, just like that. No need to do anything meaningful, just enjoy the sculpture in human form that I am, like the one on my bookshelf. How I look like and all the traits that I have to contribute them uselessly, nobody has to like them or to value them……..or should I better say contributing myself unconditionally. Because that is what falling in love with uselessness actually means: being yourself with all aspects of your being unconditionally.
How free would I feel?
How thoughtless and present in the now could I be?
How peaceful would I feel?
How much fun would that be?
Still doing all I always do….but feeling very differently while doing them.
I look at my cat and see why I enjoy her so much, watching all she does so focussed and playfully. She has it fully embraced: the beauty of being useless and to enjoy herself and life fully.
Today I decide to be wonderfully useless. Good by survival and hello playful determination ─ here I come!
Much love your useless Karin