Embracing and loving what you once despised

homer_simpsonAs promised I share today the next two great steps in internalizing a ‘hidden’ part of us.  In my last blog “No… not again…”I shared that it starts with accepting that a trait is also in you and then, after some time, perhaps a week, day, month or even years you will get invited to take the next step which was to welcome that part which meant that you slowly start living it carefully, selectively and perhaps still not really openly….till life invites you to make the next step.

Third Step: to embrace

Perhaps you have tasted the niceness of your x-hidden part in a safe environment and you might want to have more of it or life kind of kicked you into it ─ however it happened, you are invited to widen your territory where you use your newly gained trait.  With that you also feel another level of resistance because now you come into the area of competition, disappointment and another 100+ possible emotions and situations. It’s not only friends anymore where you feel safe…. it’s time to make the next step: to embrace your ex-hidden part. This again opens doors for you to practice on a different level.

In the example of sloppiness it could be that you start saying no to people that ask you to clean up their mess…..and here I don’t talk about cleaning the house anymore. When we widen our territory we also widen or better said we start going more and more to the essence of what sloppiness actually is:  the ability to let things be.  To let go of the urge to fix what seems broken. To stop taking responsibility for all that goes wrong. (Would have gone wrong if you would not have taken over)  To allow people to learn from own mistakes.  To allow people to find their own strength in facing their situations and possible consequences. To finally dare to take a risk yourself in rekindling a dream you have a long time, never dared to start because you were not sure if it really would work, you dare to mess up…..finally. J

But before you have reached those nice abilities you might find ourselves quite frustrated. So often that I heard my clients say: Here it is again, does it never stop? I thought I had dealt with it. Does all the work we do really make a difference?  And for sure I have said that to myself hundreds of times till I understood this pattern. Because each of those stages somehow touch the same source only each time on a much deeper level and with a different outcome.

Once we have embraced it, and we live it, after some time possibly month or years you are gradually or with a sledgehammer invited to take the next step.

Fourth step: to love

You find yourself challenged but your desire is kindled and there is no way back. If you don’t do it, something feels like missing in your life ─ so you move on even if it’s hard. You are invited to love the trait and people who exhibit the trait even if it is a very basic defence, inclusive yourself when you sometimes fall back to an earlier level, that’s now okay to you. No demand anymore. It’s part of you, you put no conditions on it anymore. You see the beauty of it in all forms.  You truly live that there is no good and bad anymore. You are invited to leave the duality of life while being in concrete states and situations – not while bypassing it in a state of bliss but while being exposed to it, being in the midst of it.

In the example of sloppiness it could be, that you can give enormous space to people that have messed up big in their life, inclusive the people that can’t see that they did, like extremists, your friends or family your spouse, your boss.

Your approach is defenceless and with no judgement likely not even with real action because you have become the space that they need in order to have peace with themselves. You don’t give space with the intention of fixing anything. Your intention is simply to love. There is even no intention but it is the energy you carry, your being nature.  You are the space of love where the trait you once despised can find its peace.

You actually can put anything you dislike in yourself or others in the place of sloppiness.  If you wonder how a certain trait you might despise now, is a hidden part of you and wants to become your biggest gift,  feel free to share one on this blog and I am happy to give possible answers.

Love to hear from you,






9 thoughts on “Embracing and loving what you once despised

    • Hi different girl

      If you feel that fear to fail and it blocks you to make a decisions then let me assume that you are on the level of acceptance and awareness now. Allow me to give you a possible answer how welcoming “being scared to fail” could look like. Let me mention again that it is to open up your mind to the possibility that your fear to fail is a beautiful quality of yours to allow it into your life. How it finally will evolve is very individual.
      If you let go of some fear in your failing and you allow yourself to fail a bit. It opens the door to come closer to what is YOUR FIT. Your fear represents your desire to make good choices, choices that suit you, make you happy and fulfilled ─ smile from the inside.  By joyfully and freely trying things you will know what your fit is. If you welcome that fear while trying the new instead of trying to avoid the fear, you give yourself a chance to make closer contact with the new and by that to feel a stronger desire in you or you know that it is not your fit. Both is fine and paves your way towards what is yours.
      Daring to fail when embracing the fear to fail, makes that exploration even fun. No shame, no doubt that you should have done it differently. You are also open to hear feedback and to learn ─ feedback makes you feel grateful and supported, not criticized anymore. Failure even generates more creative energy in you since it’s exciting to reach. At the other hand it opens also the door to stop with something that is not your fit, even if you invested into it. No shame, regrets or to proof anything to anybody. No wasting of energy into a misfit. To embrace failure makes also that possible.
      Loving failure will enable you with no avoidance to know your territory and to live it. Not even by choice, since you more observe the doing of your being that choosing your actions. What is yours is yours for the time it’s yours ─ you let go as freely as you have embodied something.

      Much love Karin


  1. Thank you for sharing Karen! Yes, there is a gift in everything!
    I love how you unpacked what, for you, is underneath sloppiness and how embracing it can impact all those areas because it is an energy we welcome in our life.
    We are so used to “overcome” certain things instead of acknowledging that every energy has a place in our life.

    Since you asked, let me take the opportunity to share something I have not yet fully unpacked – “not choosing”.
    A concrete example, I have been playing with the idea of starting a business. I love my work yet I know there is a part of me that wants to venture out in other things, alongside my work.
    When I think of (a) possible business(es), there are so many possibilities. I’m at a point where I am not choosing and, in this case, being in limbo.

    This resistance to choose/difficulty to choose used to drive my nuts and it guided me to use my intuition, which I now truly enjoy and which helps me in distinguishing which path feels best. This was my strategy to work around it.
    Yet, I’m sure that there is also a gift in not choosing and not taking action; and in not choosing and taking/doing it all. I would love to hear your take on it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Inge, Thanks so much for your question.
      What is the gift in not choosing a new direction or (trying to) doing it all.
      These are two different traits that both have a different origin and for that also take a different direction if we allow it to develop further. The origin of the first one is fear of the new with the direction of the first bridge which is safety while the second is fear of lack also in the first bridge.
      Let me take the first one. While I only give possible answers to open up your mind, this will not say that if you take the steps that you will get exactly this outcome. You are unique and so is your energy you embody, so how the development of this trait will look like is as individual and unique as you are.
      A possibility could be:

      • Accepting: stopping to ‘demand’ from others to make conducive decisions and to develop their potential and to sparkle.
      • Welcoming: the beautiful ability of patience with others and yourself and trusting your intuition as a source of direction rather than your intelligence. Yet you believe that your intuition will guide you towards the right choice
      • Embracing: You start to play with the moments of life in the awareness that you are guided. You are starting to let go the idea that your life is your responsibility. You still believe that there is a good choice, yet you feel safe and you trust the guidance of life/higher consciousness. You believe and you need to believe that life is good and safe.
      • Loving: The timeless awareness in the field of all. You don’t need choice anymore since you are living in the awareness that whatever you do, whatever one does is conducive and good. We are always at the right time, in the right place doing the right thing. You trust your body and its energy that it will contribute as it is designed to do Without any control or guidence. (which does not mean that you won’t hurt yourself, get hurt or hurt others, you know that also this is the blessing of the moment.) There is no reason to choose, for that you can live and enjoy all life gives fully.

      Dear Inge, I hope this can be an inspiration to you, if you feel resistance to any of this, feel blessed it opens doors for you.
      Much love Karin


      • Thank you Karin!!
        I really appreciate your input and insights.
        I can see that I am resonating/playing with the embracing stage and am inspired by the loving stage.

        Thanks for the inspiration

        Liked by 1 person

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