As promised I share today the next two great steps in internalizing a ‘hidden’ part of us. In my last blog “No… not again…”I shared that it starts with accepting that a trait is also in you and then, after some time, perhaps a week, day, month or even years you will get invited to take the next step which was to welcome that part which meant that you slowly start living it carefully, selectively and perhaps still not really openly….till life invites you to make the next step.
Third Step: to embrace
Perhaps you have tasted the niceness of your x-hidden part in a safe environment and you might want to have more of it or life kind of kicked you into it ─ however it happened, you are invited to widen your territory where you use your newly gained trait. With that you also feel another level of resistance because now you come into the area of competition, disappointment and another 100+ possible emotions and situations. It’s not only friends anymore where you feel safe…. it’s time to make the next step: to embrace your ex-hidden part. This again opens doors for you to practice on a different level.
In the example of sloppiness it could be that you start saying no to people that ask you to clean up their mess…..and here I don’t talk about cleaning the house anymore. When we widen our territory we also widen or better said we start going more and more to the essence of what sloppiness actually is: the ability to let things be. To let go of the urge to fix what seems broken. To stop taking responsibility for all that goes wrong. (Would have gone wrong if you would not have taken over) To allow people to learn from own mistakes. To allow people to find their own strength in facing their situations and possible consequences. To finally dare to take a risk yourself in rekindling a dream you have a long time, never dared to start because you were not sure if it really would work, you dare to mess up…..finally. J
But before you have reached those nice abilities you might find ourselves quite frustrated. So often that I heard my clients say: Here it is again, does it never stop? I thought I had dealt with it. Does all the work we do really make a difference? And for sure I have said that to myself hundreds of times till I understood this pattern. Because each of those stages somehow touch the same source only each time on a much deeper level and with a different outcome.
Once we have embraced it, and we live it, after some time possibly month or years you are gradually or with a sledgehammer invited to take the next step.
Fourth step: to love
You find yourself challenged but your desire is kindled and there is no way back. If you don’t do it, something feels like missing in your life ─ so you move on even if it’s hard. You are invited to love the trait and people who exhibit the trait even if it is a very basic defence, inclusive yourself when you sometimes fall back to an earlier level, that’s now okay to you. No demand anymore. It’s part of you, you put no conditions on it anymore. You see the beauty of it in all forms. You truly live that there is no good and bad anymore. You are invited to leave the duality of life while being in concrete states and situations – not while bypassing it in a state of bliss but while being exposed to it, being in the midst of it.
In the example of sloppiness it could be, that you can give enormous space to people that have messed up big in their life, inclusive the people that can’t see that they did, like extremists, your friends or family your spouse, your boss.
Your approach is defenceless and with no judgement likely not even with real action because you have become the space that they need in order to have peace with themselves. You don’t give space with the intention of fixing anything. Your intention is simply to love. There is even no intention but it is the energy you carry, your being nature. You are the space of love where the trait you once despised can find its peace.
You actually can put anything you dislike in yourself or others in the place of sloppiness. If you wonder how a certain trait you might despise now, is a hidden part of you and wants to become your biggest gift, feel free to share one on this blog and I am happy to give possible answers.
Love to hear from you,